A wilting heart
Last night I lay in bed thinking. Thinking about why. Thinking about how.
My life had always been like a blossoming flower where the petals would occasionally fall but never so far that I couldn’t see the sunshine shining down. Now, it just feels like I am a flower that wilted away. Stripped of innocence, stripped of the dream state of bliss that I once lived in. I’ll know a world of fear, I’ll know a world of loss, and I’ll know a world of pain and I know that none of this is ever impossible.
I couldn’t help but think exactly of how a flower comes to be. It starts off as small as a poppy seed and sprouts into a beautiful flower that shines bright in the sun, and changes with each season. Eventually the season comes where all the petals fall and the flower doesn’t live another day. I couldn’t help but relate this to my own soul.
I tried to picture the flower sprouting, I tried to remember that a flower can rebuild itself and sprout again using what it has that has fallen to the ground. I tried to picture myself like a tall flower with rough edges but beauty that still shines. I can do it. I know I can. I can be the blossoming flower again.
You won’t quite see the world in the way that I do, and I hope that you never will. Though you should see the world with some sort of fear. Live with happiness in your heart, live with hope in your soul, but fear that everyday may be the last from the way you have always known it because I have always trusted in the universe, in every decision, in every choice, in everything that ‘just happens’ but I will never feel that way again because this time the universe didn’t know what was best. A world full of such beauty, can be full of just as much sadness.