What really inspired me to write this post is going through my computer through old images and looking at pictures of my own body and remembering in that moment of time of how much I felt like my body was never “good enough”.
It is only now, when I look back that I think – wow! I had an awesome body. All those gym sessions, those strict ways of eating – forever trying whatever was the new trend just to stay and look “fit” but never actually FEELING satisfied. When you know what? I should’ve really said “I am good enough” more often! (hello, look at that bod!)
It is now, while I am pregnant (a world away from that body I once had) that I feel satisfied and proud of the body I used to have. Why did I always think my tummy was never flat enough? Why? I’ve never been one to shy away from having my body on social media – after all owning a swimwear line meant I was proud to put myself out there to show off my designs. However, just because I’d upload the photo’s – never meant I felt 110% happy with the way I looked and I just wish I was more proud of myself then!
It comes as a reminder to me right now, 34 weeks pregnant – feeling larger than life, with extra fluid, harder movements and an ever growing tummy – that I should just be proud! Be proud of this moment in time of my body being able to grow this little human because soon enough, I will too probably look back and say ” I wish I enjoyed my pregnancy more” or “I wish I was more happy within about the bodily changes”. When hello, I am in the moment of it right now and you know what! I look fucking awesome is what I have decided haha. Screw you too anyone who says “Your too small, too big, you are looking puffy, you must be due soon, or you will get your body back in no time” All those comments are ridiculous! Especially to a hormonal pregnant woman. Next time just say ” You look amazing! You look great!” Something empowering, something positive – because that woman is going through the biggest changes of her life and she needs empowerment, not opened-ended comments!
I think its a very confronting thing for a woman to go through, change – physically that we can’t control. I think it’s good to look at it like a hair cut though. When you want a change with your hair – you make the CHOICE to get a hair cut, dye it, do what you want with it. You take that risk. However, you either like it or you don’t – and sometimes when you don’t like it you still stay “Oh well, at least it will grow back, it’s not forever” and I feel like thats how we should look at our bodies and pregnancy. That it isn’t forever (even though it feels like it) eventually we all give birth, our focus is then our newborn and eventually we will get our body back too. For some woman it takes 6 weeks, others 6 months, and sometimes 6 years but no matter what you can get it back and for that, we should just enjoy each stage of life, pregnancy, love & our careers.
We need to stop wanting, and start doing and just enjoying! I want to remember every part of my life for how I felt “GOOD” in that moment, not wishing I enjoyed it more. I hope that you too can look at yourself more and feel beautiful – not about yesterday, but feel it today!
Love always. M x